it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
