You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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