no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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