we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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