I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
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