White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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