Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
