Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize
