you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
