She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
