There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
