Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
