Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
me + whiskey = a bad person
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
