out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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