Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
