I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
