mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
