You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
