And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I will be naked everywhere
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
