mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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