Got a toothbrush?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize