I just made out with a guy for $7.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
