At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
