he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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