Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
