go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
