very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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