When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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