Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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