So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
