I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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