You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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