oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
