I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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