My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
