I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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