at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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