just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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