I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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