Buhtt sex?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Found your dick twin last night
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
