we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
