The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
