YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
