i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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