sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
