The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
