whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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