can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
