weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
