Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
