You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
