So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
They are going to name an STD after you.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
