I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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